So, here's my resolution for this year: I am going to pare down my monkey-sphere to include only those people who have shown they actually give a damn about me, and I am going to make a concerted effort to let everything else go, including the unresolved bits. I can't make everyone happy, and maybe if I focus on the relationships that are clearly mutual I can make those friendships stronger and healhier instead.
My other goals include: establishing a running routine, with the help of Running for Mortals, which is a brilliant book on the subject so far; organizing and at least getting as far as the editing stage in the Fandom Saved My Life anthology; and posting one chapter every 2-4 weeks (depending on how long the chapters turn out to be) of Mrs. Caldwell's Hotel for Ghosts.
Sometime in the next week or so I'll probably try to put up a summary post and playlist for 2012, which I will put under a cut so it can be cheerfully ignored. See you in the new year!
"Every day. Every minute."
"Every minute," she says. "Yes. It's that way, isn't it?" She turns on her side and burrows into the pillow.
"Good night," I say, turning out the lamp. As I stand in the dark looking down at Grandma in her bed, self-pity floods me as though I have been injected with it. It's that way, isn't it? Isn't it.
The Time Traveller's Wife -Audrey Niffenegger
It’s December. Every December I re-read a book. This is a big deal for me because my life consists of reading things for other people, and as a result I very rarely get to read things for myself. And there are books that I just want to revisit sometimes, like old friends. Many times they contain lessons I need to remember, or just represent a comforting place to rest for a while.
This year I’m re-reading The Time Traveller’s Wife- arguably my favourite romantic story ever. This is a very telling statement about my opinion of romance. For me, love is just as it’s portrayed from Claire’s point of view in the book: longing, waiting, patient, and ultimately sort of futile. Never something one can quite rely on or feel safe with. A bit tragic, but worth it anyway, just to have experienced it, for the moments that one did get to have. I love this book because it is a poignant, visceral description of my own experience of love, and it makes me feel less alone in that.
If you could re-read any book this December, what would you read and why?
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- Current Mood: hopeful
Now, thanks to a book I'm editing, I've started doing my own research and realised that most of my chronic problems- fatigue, moodiness, anxiety, as well as the above mentioned symptoms and probably my metobolism- probably have a lot to do with my hypoglycemia. And it's up to me to correct it. There's a few do's and don'ts, but what it boils down to mostly is that I have to stop eating sugar, as much as possible.
Oh, that'll be easy! I thought. I don't even like sugar that much. Completely forgetting, of course, what has happened EVERY time I've tried to limit my simple carbs, for any reason. I become EXTREMELY BITEY. And, according to the websites I've looked at, it can take anywhere from 3 days to 2 weeks for my body to adjust to a low-sugar regimen. That means I have to avoid killing people for up to two weeks. Now might be a really good time to take that vacation to the Himalayas.
My motivation, on the other hand, is pretty powerful. To finally conquer the fatigue that has plagued and frustrated me my whole life? To possibly lessen my dependence on my anxiety meds? To not snap at my children and loved ones because I haven't eaten properly? Not to mention the increased likelihood of developing type II diabetes if I don't take care of it.
Sigh. But seriously, no sugar? Even though my tastebuds aren't particularly bothered, my body is clearly going what the fuck? There should totally be rehab for this.
Anyway, just giving y'all a heads-up so you can duck and cover, I guess! I'm turning off comments for this entry, which I don't normally do, but as I said I'm extremely bitey right now, and any expression of sympathy or support will likely end in bloodshed. I'll just take it as read that you think I'm awesome, shall I?
- Current Mood: cranky
- Current Mood: busy
I mean, a serial killer would find me fucking impossible, I would think. I don't even sleep at regular times (hence the 4 a.m. ponderings). I know at least 3 ways to drive anywhere, and I switch them up a lot because I get bored. (This drives evil_erato CRAZY.) Even when I worked, it was in retail and my shifts varied wildly. And now I've taken up running- a favorite of killers everywhere- and I do it sometimes in the afternoons, sometimes in the early morning or evening, sometimes at the track, often with the whole family. And, of course, never the same route or with my headphones on or anything. A potential killer would have to stick to me like glue, and I'm pretty sure I would notice that shit.
But seriously, am I the only person who has such a chaotic lack of routine? Or is everyone around me really running around like clockwork, doing the same thing in the same way all the time? Am I the only one who will survive the coming serial killer apocalypse?
- Book:"Henry IV, Part Two" by William Shakespeare
- Current Mood: curious
- Current Music:"Fighter" -Gym Class Heroes
- Current Mood: ecstatic